What do you do if you’re not rich, and you’re never going to be rich? You write about the rich. And, what do you do if you’re afraid that these people—who earn more money in a minute than you do in a year—will sue you? You write about dead, rich people, because they can’t sue you.I’m referring of course to New York Post reporters, Larry Celona and Dareh Gregorian, who couldn’t wait for them to nail Leona Helmsley’s coffin shut so they could write nasty things about the woman—a great entrepreneur—who not only discovered a way to avoid taxes, but also managed to get the government to pick up the tab for her accommodations for 19 months.
In yesterday’s Post, Celona and Gregorian complained that Helmsley’s estate spent more than $300,000 a year to look after her dog, Trouble. Ridiculous, I say. Do these reporters know how much it costs to feed an animal? How would they feel if Trouble died because it was served wrong type of fois gras?
In a vain attempt to make it seem like the article had legs, these reporters searched the Post’s archives for figures to back up their story. They come up with the amazing fact that in 1999—yes eight years ago—most New Yorker’s earned less than $38,000. Didn’t you guys learn in "J" school that eight-year-old-figures are meaningless? I would wager any amount of money that the averages are higher today.
And, even if there numbers were relevant, the story isn’t. They’re comparing apples to oranges. Before destroying a person’s hard-earned reputation, Celona and Gregorian should consider the facts. In this case, they should ask themselves:
1. How many NY families have a rotating security team?
2. How many NY families use an alias when they fly?
3. How many NY families have meals prepared by a chef?
In an attempt to get news that was “fair and balanced,” I plucked down 50 cents—a quarter more than the Post—and purchased the Daily News. Needless to say I was disappointed. Their news was equally biased against the idle rich. The only difference was this paper chose to pick on celebrities.
I’m referring to the story written by ex-Cocktail (a magazine that failed to publish a single issue) reporter, Jo Piazza, about the 50 dumbest people in Hollywood. Who do you think she chose? The homeless on the streets? The unemployed? The working stiffs who have to get up for work each morning? No, she picked 50 celebrities who earn more money in a day than she earns in a year.
That’s right, stars like Lindsay Lohan, who’s last film, I Know Who Killed Me, may not have set the world on fire, but it gave her enough money to party with anybody she chose. Other no-hopers on her list include Jessica Simpson, Kiefer Sutherland, Tori Spelling, Britney Spears, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Michael Jackson, Mel Gibson, Nicole Richie, Kevin Federline and Scott Baio. Last I heard, none of these “dummies” were having trouble keeping their name in the news and providing the paparazzi with an income.
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While I don’t really have any interest in hearing what you have to say about anything, if you have a burning desire to get something off your chest, email me: dryoung@demotivationist.com.
