Friday, December 14, 2007

Workers Are Liars, Cheats and Thieves

One-third of your workers are thieves, liars and cheats, and these devious people will do anything they can to squeeze a couple of extra bucks out of your already empty pockets. And believe it or not, I’m not the one saying this, it’s the good people at CareerBuilder who conducted a survey on sick leave, and found an alarming 33 percent of workers call in sick when there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them.

CareerBuilder Vice President, Richard Castellini, said many workers save their sick days until the end of the year so they can spend some extra time with their friends and family relaxing or getting ready for the holidays. That’s right, your workers who barely lift their finger all year, are now taking time off at your expense. Totally unacceptable if you ask me.

And, if you operate a business in the Midwest, and Minnesota in particular, your workers are even lazier than those in the rest of the country. According to an article written by Julie Forster in the Pioneer Press the good news is that sick days and short- and long-term disability costs companies 2.7 percent of their payroll. But when you read on, you see that the real number is buried deep in the story—it’s actually 7 percent when you add in all the other things like aggravation.

But, as soft as Mid-western bosses are, these guys have now realized that something must be done—and they’re taking what they think is “tough action.” I laugh. If you want to see tough, come to New York; I’ll show you a pastrami sandwich that is so tough you break your teeth on the bread.

But enough about New Yorkers. Let’s see how the soft Mid-western companies are dealing with the problem. St. Anne of Winona, a long-term elderly care and assisted living facility in Minnesota, talks to each employee who takes too much time off. That’s right, if they take more than three days off, they’re given a verbal warning. When I owned a Häagen-Dazs in New York our policy was one strike—one week’s pay, two strikes a month’s pay, and three strikes you’re out. At St. Anne’s they give you eight strikes, and, even then, they only fire you if you don’t make up the time.

Northwest Airlines, a major international airline based in Eagan, Minnesota, has a similar soft sick leave policy like St. Anne. The company pays pilots their full pay if they call in sick once, deducts 25 percent the second time—if they don’t have a doctor’s note and docks them 25 percent the third time—even with a doctor’s note. The part I find hard to take is what they do if a pilot doesn’t take time off—they pay him or her a bonus. That’s right, every pilot who doesn’t miss a day’s work during the holidays gets a 15 percent bonus—up to $1,000, just for doing their job. No wonder all the banks, airlines and automakers based in the Midwest are going broke.

In another part of the Midwest, Pittsburgh, Elwin Green of the Post-Gazette, writes that most workers who call in sick in his city, aren’t sick. What a surprise! If I lived in Pittsburgh, Home of the Cigar Camp, I wouldn’t want to get up and go to work either.

But I don’t, and neither do any of my workers. We live in New York where we get up every day, smell the smog, fight our way through the trash, past the muggers and say: “Isn’t it great to be alive?”

But back to Pittsburgh, where Green who has obviously spent too much time at Cigar Camp, sampling the good stuff, said people in his city take time off to deal with family issues, personal needs, stress or because they feel like playing hooky.

While I may be tired of this attitude, the liberals in Washington aren’t. In fact, they’re encouraging workers to take time off. Sen. Edward M. Kennedy and Rep. Rosa DeLauro have introduced a bill that will require businesses with more than 15 employees to give every worker seven days a year of sick leave—which they’ll be able to use whenever someone in their family is sick.

I say we should adopt the work ethic of the 20 million illegal workers already in this country—that Mike Huckabee wants to deport—no work, no pay.

To stay one step in front of the competition, check out my latest book: Dr. Young’s Guide to Demotivating Employees at Dolyttle & Seamore.

While I don’t really have any interest in hearing what you have to say about anything, if you have a burning desire to get something off your chest, email me: dryoung@demotivationist.com.