Friday, December 21, 2007

Airline Bill of Rights Threatens Airlines

New York hates business and will do what it takes to discourage investment in this state. If that sounds like a myth, forget it, it’s a fact.

I’ve long suspected that the courts and politicians are in league with each other, and U.S. District Court Judge, Lawrence Kahn’s, recent decision to allow New York Governor, Eliot Spitzer’s airline passenger bill of rights to become law shows that I’m right.

Politicians and judges have no idea how hard it is to run a business. And, airlines are one of the hardest businesses to run. That’s why so few entrepreneurs are prepared to enter this field. Judge Kahn’s decision will probably force a few more of these dinosaurs to fall by the wayside.

While it sounds like a good idea in theory to force airlines to provide fresh air and lights, remove overflowing toilet waste and give passengers food and water after they’ve been stuck on a plane on the tarmac for three hours, it’s not.

Has Mr. Spitzer been to a supermarket recently? Does he know how much water costs? Is he aware that most flights lose money? Airlines have very slender margins. This forces them to cut corners and stretch the rules. Passing specific laws makes it very difficult to fudge the facts. Airlines need to fudge the facts to survive.

I predict that airlines will strike back at New York for passing this hideous law. They’ll simply divert their flights to Newark, N.J. and take millions of dollars out of this city. That’s right, instead of the tourists shopping in downtown Manhattan; they’ll visit beautiful Newark in the Garden State. This will cost New York billions have N.J. Governor Jon Corzine laughing all the way to the bank.

While New York is destroying business, our friends to the north—the Canadians—are destroying the lives of its citizens by placing even more restrictions on their lives. If you thought banning smoking in buildings was bad, just look at what Nova Scotia is doing.

It’s banning smoking on private property—cars in particular. That’s right, if you’re traveling to a playground with a screaming child under the age of 19, you’re no longer permitted to light up to ease the stress. That’s right, you have to wait until you exit the vehicle and enter the park before you smoke that well-deserved cigarette. This law—which has yet to take effect—has proven so popular, that another Canadian state—New Brunswick is planning to introduce its own version of this legislation according to The Edmonton Sun.

Before I go, I must remind everybody that Monday is a normal WORKday. If you’re a boss, make sure your employees turn up on time, take only the allocated time for lunch and finish work when their shift ends—NOT a minute early. Just because Tuesday is a holiday does NOT mean it’s OK to slack off. Everybody at The Demotivationist will be at his or her desk manning the phones. I’ll be there monitoring the workers—and producing this column as normal. Unfortunately there will be no column on Tuesday—I’ll be carrying out a tradition that goes back many years—going through the desks of my workers looking for evidence of wrongdoing while they’re at home goofing off.

To stay one step in front of the competition, check out my latest book: Dr. Young’s Guide to Demotivating Employees at Dolyttle & Seamore.

While I don’t really have any interest in hearing what you have to say about anything, if you have a burning desire to get something off your chest, email me: dryoung@demotivationist.com.