Congratulations to the AMNH, instituted a new program this week to demotivate New York children. Up until last December 14, the AMNH used the old method of teaching—education should be fun. But they’ve realized this no longer works because education can’t be fun and fun can’t be boring.I say congratulations, finally an institution that realizes these two don’t mix. In fact, the museum, which visited by more New York City school children each year than any other cultural institution in the city is actively trying to reduce the number of noisy children which visit it.
According to Assistant Director of Security and Safety Development, Brian Hughes, the AMNH has impregnated the carpets in the Gem Room with hazardous gases, and as a result, children, who have played in this room unhampered for many years, are no longer permitted to crawl in this room. Hughes said the reason for this is that the gases had made many of the guards sick and there was also a risk of broken glass in this room.
The museum is also banning children from other areas of the complex. To prevent children from crawling in the Whale Room, it closes this room WHENEVER it feels like. It’s very effective, because not only are children demotivated, so are the parents who take their children to this institution for a nice day out—and are forced to return home with unhappy, screaming children.
But the policy is only partially effective. Of the 130 guards employed by the museum, only some of them are aware of this new policy. Outgoing security guards John, Terry and Stephen, said they had always turned a blind eye to children and would continue to do and try to remain as invisible as possible—unless they were needed—so everybody could have a “happy museum experience.”
While Hughes is a polite, straight up-and-down guy, who brought visitor services into his office to explain the new policy, he’s forced to follow President, Ellen V. Futter’s “cone of silence” policy. When you ask visitor services about their policy on children you’re told “we don’t have a policy on children, it’s up to security.”
Who makes the policy? It’s President Futter who doesn’t speak to the public. She knows that her job is to give lobbyists like Clark & Weinstock or Jorden Burther money to talk to politicians—so she doesn’t have to.
Since Futter doesn’t talk to politicians or the public, who does she talk to? She talks to organizations like Con Edison—which installs electric shock machines around the city—and asks them for money. Lots of it. Last year she managed to bring in more than $186 million last year—a bargain when you consider that she earns less than $750,000.
So there you have it. Not only is the AMNH nominated for the Demotivational Organizational of the Year, Ellen V. Futter is also a nominee for Demotivationist of the Year—a first—never before has an organization and its president been nominated for this award simultaneously. Nominees for 2007 Demotivationist include Britney Spears, Leona Hemsley and Donald Trump. Organizations in the running include Citibank, Con Edison and Northwest Airlines. If you have someone you’d like to nominate email Dryoung@demotivationist.com.
To stay one step in front of the competition, check out my latest book: Dr. Young’s Guide to Demotivating Employees at Dolyttle & Seamore.
While I don’t really have any interest in hearing what you have to say about anything, if you have a burning desire to get something off your chest, email me: dryoung@demotivationist.com.
