NY Publisher Announces Plans to Become Bank

Dolyttle & Seamore, the NY-based publisher of Dr. Young’s Guide to Demotivating Employees, announced today that it would become a bank-holding company to give it access to the same level of support that is available to other financial institutions.

“The economy is in a bit of a spot now and this makes it very difficult to sell books,” said Mark Young, president of Dolyttle & Seamore. “Rather than take a chance by publishing books that may not sell, we’ve decided to take the easy route and ask the government to bail us out.

“While there are some disadvantages, such as having the Federal Reserve as our regulator, we believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages 10-to-1. Like American Express, we don’t anticipate any changes to the way we do business.

Young went on to say that economy would not turnaround in the short term and his decision was made out of necessity.

“The government has already started nationalizing the banks and insurance companies and will soon move into car manufacturing. But banking is where the money is at the moment at we want our piece.”

Young said he was unsure how much money his company would receive, but said he hoped it would be enough to take over his competitors such as Bertelsmann, Harper Collins and Scholastic. “It would also be nice if we could spend a few months in South Pacific devising our strategy.”